On a Tear

2/4/2020

So, Julie asked me to write about anything I want to while she proofs my book of essays. I’ve been trying to come up with the perfect title for tonight’s essay. Julie told me I can’t use swear words. In light of that, it’s probably bad timing for me to watch Donald Trump’s State of the Union address in Julie’s office before sharing my thoughts. I’m politically independent in my world, so I really don’t care if people are Republicans or Democrats. I do have a really tough time witnessing the ass kissing that’s been going on in the United States Congress (Julie might have to edit that out) and seeing old white men not thinking for themselves as they cheer on a narcissist who is jeopardizing America’s national security. Those men are clearly America’s weaker sex.  I have a really difficult time watching people who have been brainwashed and then turn around and hurt other people with their misguided beliefs.

Julie probably didn’t want me to write stuff like that. It’s so much easier for me to write about the negative moments and the stupid things people do (especially gross old white men who abuse their power), but I will try to accentuate the positive… give me a moment … maybe a moment longer. I’m having a difficult time coming up with anything positive to say about the state of the United States while I’m watching Donald Trump spin reality. Sometimes it sucks to be psychic. I see where America is headed once all the spinning stops. I wish all Americans could open their eyes wide and see it too. Ooh, I thought of something positive: Nancy Pelosi looks great in white—and I’m really proud of her for not letting her head explode while sitting behind Donald Trump. I love looking into her eyes and seeing what she’s thinking as she sits behind Donald Trump’s shoulder. I have a feeling she wants to shred his words right now. I wish she was the president of the United States.

Haha – Donald Trump just said “Be Best” and I can’t stop laughing. The irony is just too much.

Donald Trump said his administration is on top of “taking care” of sick people. Now I’m laughing again as I picture Trump’s people putting cement shoes on every sick person and taking them for a walk down to the river to swim with the fishes. Okay, that’s not funny because it could actually happen. I find myself wondering if I’m in an alternate reality right now as I visit Julie’s world. I thought I was the fictional character living in a fictional world, but now I’m thinking that Julie and all of you must be the ones who are living in a fictional place called “Donald Trump’s America.”

OMG—Rush Limbaugh just received the Presidential Medal of Freedom! Now I know that you’re the ones in the alternate reality. That’s just too unreal to be true. I just used your Google machine to confirm that I understand what that honor is for: “It recognizes those individuals who have made an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors.”  

Next, Donald Trump will probably be given the Nobel Peace Prize in your world. I can’t take this anymore. I’m going back to my side of the looking glass where things aren’t so weird. Good luck not dying from coronavirus or getting nuked by Iran in Donald Trump’s America.

Oh, before I go, here’s my title for what I’ve just written:

On a Tear

~ Amy Clausen

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